belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
