he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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