I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
there was a trapeze. enough said
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize