My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
