He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
