Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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