That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
