You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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