Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
