either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
