we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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