He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
