For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize