Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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