Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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