I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
And then he peed in my hair
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
