love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Are we still banned from the library?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
