3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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