I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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