the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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