you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
