But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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