Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
