"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
