is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
