I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Damn victory sex feels great
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
