Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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