apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
