sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
