Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize