And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
