Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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