So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
