Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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