That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
