Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
