i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
