An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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