Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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