Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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