its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
