shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
