After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
