Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
