How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
