The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
