the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
North Korea, Best Korea!
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
When are your genitals available?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
