so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
