yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize