I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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