do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
