There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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