but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
