I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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