We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
