Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
