Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
