He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
