I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
