he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
