i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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